Happy Halloween 2010!

The Unexpected Call...

Around twenty weeks into the pregnancy I had my next ultrasound.  Seth and I were extremely excited to see our baby and discover if we were having a baby girl or boy.  Just as it was with Reyna it was a thrill to see our baby moving around and looking healthy.  We learned we were having a boy and were excited Reyna would have a little brother.  We loved seeing his tiny hands and feet.  It was such a joy watching him move around and hearing his strong heartbeat.  Not a word was said during our sonogram to indicate that something may be wrong and we left filled with happy anticipation for our little boy.

A couple of days later we got that unexpected call and it was heart wrenching.  I received a call that our baby likely had a cleft lip and possibly palate.  Although this was overwhelming in itself, I took a deep breath and thought how we could get through this and do whatever was needed for our little guy.  However, when the doctor continued on with explanations that the cleft made it more likely that our baby could have an associated syndrome or other birth defects it became increasingly more difficult to hold it together.  She explained that we should see a genetic counselor and a perinatologist. 

After getting off the phone I did fall apart as I explained the news to Seth.  He stayed pretty strong, but I could see worry on his face which is rare.  Gradually it sunk in and we were able to think more clearly.  We then focused with determination to educate ourselves and do all we could to help our baby have the best care and life possible.  We found several great websites such as cleftline.org.  Several sites were reassuring while others increased my concern exponentially.  However, in the end, for me at least, these sites helped me relieve some of the anxiety as they allowed me to feel I was doing something by learning all I could. 

A few days later we had our appointments.  We first saw the genetic counselor.  She made a genetic histogram of our family which showed no indication of a genetic link to cleft lip and palate.  She then shared the frightening and ridiculously wide statistics that with a bilateral cleft our baby could have anywhere from a 15-60% chance of having associated syndromes, depending on the study.  She shared testing options but we declined as we did not want to put our baby at risk for further problems and risk losing him.  We had already made the decision we would continue the pregnancy no matter the outcome.

We then had the 3D ultrasound which clearly showed a bilateral cleft lip.  In the sonogram his cleft was so severe it looked almost beak like.  When we asked about this they told us it wouldn’t really look that way.  When Logan was born it looked exactly like that, but I still instantly fell in love with him and found him beautiful.  I know to others his features were alarming but truly I did not see him this way.  I can understand why they did not think it would look as it did in the sonogram as Logan’s cleft ended up being quite atypical.

Logan's First 3D Sonogram

The sonogram also showed that there was very likely a cleft palate.  However, as they closely inspected and measured the rest of his body all looked well.  This was very reassuring.  After the sonogram we met with the genetic counselor again and she shared that although there are not specific statistics, the likelihood that Logan had other issues was greatly diminished by the number of typical features viewed.  This gave us increased hope that all would be well once we had his lip and palate repaired.  

Early Signs

Early in pregnancy there were some signs that something wasn’t quite right, but they were virtually impossible to read without hindsight.  The first odd moment was directly after the two home pregnancy tests.  To confirm with my insurance carrier and doctor that I was indeed pregnant I took a clinic test.  This came back negative.  As this seemed unlikely (unless sadly something had gone wrong) I took another home test which was positive.  I called my doctor and she encouraged me to come back in a day or two for a retest.  This test was positive.  This all seemed a little strange and didn’t sit well with me, but I let it go.

At the eight week mark I had my first sonogram.  Seth and I were so excited to see the baby.  I could remember during Reyna’s eight week sonogram seeing her round little head and tiny arms and legs.  Logan’s did not appear like this at all.  He still very much resembled a tadpole more than a miniture baby.  The doctor suggested that my conception date could just be wrong.  I was certain within days of the conception date, but after a bit of disagreement I conceded to change the date to reflect nearly two weeks earlier.  We were then encouraged to come back in a few weeks for another sonogram.

Tadpole Logan

The significance of this moment is now so apparent as in normal fetal development the natural clefts in the palate and lips will close around weeks six to eleven and the eyes will also complete the majority of their development at this time.  I do not find it a coincidence that in the early stages Logan’s development looked behind his original due date.  I also feel the inconsistent pregnancy tests may have been a result of things being a bit off early in pregnancy.  It all sat a little funny with me but I was easily able to think it was just a strange coincidence until my twenty week ultrasound.  As for the repeat sonogram it was done a few weeks later as ordered.   Then Logan, our little fighter, fully resembled a remarkable tiny baby waving his arms around as expected.

(His head is down and to the right)

Testing, testing...

As I was on oral contraceptives it was quite unexpected to be “late.”  Yet, in the past I had experienced irregular cycles (part of the crazy notion by my college OB that it would be a challenge to get pregnant).  Still, I bought a pregnancy test to relieve the worry of the unknown.  Once I actually picked up a test and paid for it the anxiety began to mount quickly and I couldn’t even wait until I got home.  So there I was taking a pregnancy test in a public restroom that was “going to be negative anyway, right?”  Yet, the most faint second line of pink appeared.  It was so very faint I thought it must still be negative so I read all that fine print on the package to be verify.  However, the words I expected weren’t there.  Instead it indicated that even a faint second line indicates a positive pregnancy if read within the testing window of time.  The faint line was within the time window.  Convenitenly I was still in the store and could by a fully clear digital yes/no test ensure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me.  I took this one at home.  Despite the faint pink line I was still a bit surprised when it said “yes+” on the test.

Seeing these positive results was so different from my first experience with our daughter.  Then we were trying to have a baby and were in a more comfortable place finacially.  I had a huge mix of emotions.  They of course included excitement and joy but there was also much worry over being able to provide for our second child.  Seth was still out of work at the time and I had already done the mental math to determine that the baby would be due in early January.  Not an ideal time for a teacher.  I was so worried to tell Seth as he is always so practical ant his would be a huge challenge.  I thought he would be upset because of the finacial strain and Reyna still being quite young.  I should have realized his calm, practical manner would help him see more clearly than even I the joy that we had a baby coming.  As I told him through the tears he reassured me of what a wonderful moment this was and how we’d figure it out.  We would find a way.  I was able to then see through all the worry and give thanks for this new little one on the way.

Reyna Turns 1!

Happy Birthday Reyna!!

Reyna’s first birthday fell directly on Mother’s Day.  On my first Mother’s Day I got to hold my little one day old baby.  Now I got to celebrate with my big one year old.  As you can see in the pictures she had a super day (even though she was less than thrilled with her cake).  Oh and she got a surprise present.  Just in time for her birthday…shock SURPRISE!  Mommy’s pregnant!  

Don’t worry, Reyna, your sibling will be here just in time to shake up your Christmas too.  (Luckily we now know you just adore him as much as we do!)  Happy Birthday baby!

This is a just another pretty thing for me to climb right?

Deep concentration

These blocks are still one of her favorite toys today.

Curious about her cake.

Disguised by her cake.  

(This should have been our first sign that she would be a very picky eater soon.  After a small taste she sadly did not eat any more cake.  No messy faces on this day.)

Adventures on the birthday slide...

This may take some practice...

Another fun present!

Reyna's Name

Reyna's name has two meanings.  The first meaning is "pure and clean."  This suits her very well.  The second meaning is "queen."  Yeah, she's a little of that too!

Reyna's Personality

As Reyna continued to grow over the next few months we could really see her personality developing.  As much as the two don’t seem to go together she was fully beginning to show herself as a gentle adventurer.  She remained an easy baby.  She was sweet and loving and very rarely cried.  One of her favorite things to do during this period of time was give “huggies” to everyone, including all of her stuffed animals and our kitty.  

Reyna slept amazingly well and would even look forward to going to bed once she was sleepy.  She began to really enjoy books and loved being read to or independenly “reading” her stories.  Although Reyna has normal hearing we had taught her several signs.  This seemed to help her maintain her easy going nature as they allowed her to communicate her needs pretty well.  

     

   Despite her mild temperment she was still driven to conquor new skills.  She was learning to climb all kinds of objects and give me regular heart attacks.  She learned to conquer the stairs using the handrail and bump her way down on her bottom or go down backwards.  She was very tempted to just walk down, but we steered her away from these ideas quickly.  

Right around a year, to the dismay of our cat who always stayed a few feet ahead, she learned the joy of running short distances.  She loved anything involving movement including spinning, swinging, bouncing, and throwing herself into mountains of soft objects.  

She was quite independent yet loving toward all.  She remains this way today.  We appreciate her gifts so deeply for making her who she is and allowing her to be a truly remarkable individual, daughter and big sister.