Saturday, April 21, 2012

Testing, testing...

As I was on oral contraceptives it was quite unexpected to be “late.”  Yet, in the past I had experienced irregular cycles (part of the crazy notion by my college OB that it would be a challenge to get pregnant).  Still, I bought a pregnancy test to relieve the worry of the unknown.  Once I actually picked up a test and paid for it the anxiety began to mount quickly and I couldn’t even wait until I got home.  So there I was taking a pregnancy test in a public restroom that was “going to be negative anyway, right?”  Yet, the most faint second line of pink appeared.  It was so very faint I thought it must still be negative so I read all that fine print on the package to be verify.  However, the words I expected weren’t there.  Instead it indicated that even a faint second line indicates a positive pregnancy if read within the testing window of time.  The faint line was within the time window.  Convenitenly I was still in the store and could by a fully clear digital yes/no test ensure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me.  I took this one at home.  Despite the faint pink line I was still a bit surprised when it said “yes+” on the test.
Seeing these positive results was so different from my first experience with our daughter.  Then we were trying to have a baby and were in a more comfortable place finacially.  I had a huge mix of emotions.  They of course included excitement and joy but there was also much worry over being able to provide for our second child.  Seth was still out of work at the time and I had already done the mental math to determine that the baby would be due in early January.  Not an ideal time for a teacher.  I was so worried to tell Seth as he is always so practical ant his would be a huge challenge.  I thought he would be upset because of the finacial strain and Reyna still being quite young.  I should have realized his calm, practical manner would help him see more clearly than even I the joy that we had a baby coming.  As I told him through the tears he reassured me of what a wonderful moment this was and how we’d figure it out.  We would find a way.  I was able to then see through all the worry and give thanks for this new little one on the way.

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